Saturday, July 23, 2011

Why E-Readers Stink

The following is definitely a new twist on sentimentality for paper books.  Did Danny struggle to come up with this or did it just come to him?  We've heard that you can't use a reader in the bathtub.  Readers don't smell like books (My books don't smell, is there a website I can send for some book smell like nu-car smell to rectify this problem?)  You can't turn the pages (yeah that's a drawback esp when I think of how bloody hard it is to turn deckled pages), and you can't use a reader as a doorstop.  I repurpose the old glass power line insulators but that's just me.  I'd use the dog, but she won't "Sit. Stay." for more than a couple minutes.
"My wife recently gave me an electronic reader, and I look forward to using it to sample the latest novels, nonfiction and poetry. At the click of a button, as if rubbing a genie from a bottle, I'll be able to summon thousands of books to the screen on my lap.
The books on our living room shelf, on the other hand, were acquired through hours of browsing in bookstores. Lined up at attention from floor to ceiling, they stand as touchstones of my personal geography—bright reminders of places I've been, things I've seen, and people I've met."

His pain must be enormous.  Alert!  Alert!  Cultural Discontinuity Approaching!  Grab nearest stable object and hang on tight until disorientation ceases!

Yeah those hours wasted at The Coliseum, I mean spent fruitfully, yeah, Good Times!

What you can do with old vinyl records

Be creative.  You can turn them into shadow puppets too and play gamelan music while you put on shows.

When you start seeing articles like this even if the WSJ expects me to pay to read more of the mush, you know it's all over.  So Danny, we understand how traumatic this transition will be for you, but if it's that bad, don't make it at all.  Stick to your guns.  Well I mean, not guns, you're probably not someone who advocates the actual having of guns, but stick to your arugula and stay with books.  They'll progressively become more expensive so you will be able to pride yourself on being able to afford them while you sniff them recalling scent memories.

Hey!  Here's an idea for all you self-publishing paper book people who are always trying to come up with marketing gimmicks and usually opt for bookmarks.  This is great.  I am one smart cookie.  A bookmark saturated with book smell fragrance like inserts in magazines selling perfume!

Note to Jeff Bezos: Include small vial of book smell with each Kindle for transitioners.

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