How To Fail

1) Don't do anything.
2) If you do make the mistake of starting to do something, don't finish.
3) If you persist in the mistake of doing something, make sure you get bogged down in extraneous details.  Worry about things that don't matter.  That will insure #2.
4) Never read the FAQ.
5) Don't take advice from anyone with experience.
6) Find something better/more pressing to do.
7) Make inventive excuses for not doing what you said you wanted to do.
8) Understand that forces larger than you are working against you so you will fail anyway.
9) Everyone who is doing what you want to do has an unspecified advantage.
10) You don't really want to do this anyway, it was all just a mistake.